And Every Monday...

reality sets in.

I have no clean clothes and I don't have enough cigarettes for the day.

I find myself budgeting my time. If I only lay around until 5 pm I should still have enough time to shower and get dressed up nice and clean before my boyfriend gets home.

I sit around and wonder why everybody seems to have more energy than I do. At one time I blamed it on malnutrition, apparently that was not the case. I blamed it on depression.....well, I don't think I'm depressed now. Am I? Is that even possible?

I avoid our roommate. Always.

I wonder what to eat, if anything.  
I should eat.  
There's nothing here I want.  
I could walk to Target and buy something. 
 I don't have much money and plus if I go out in public I'll have to get ready and that will take hours.  
The walk would do me good.
The candy bar I'd buy wouldn't.
This argument goes on in my head for hours. The winner varies.

Shower
-shave
-wash hair
-wash face

Get ready
-dry hair
-get dressed
-apply makeup
-brush teeth

Clean up
-make bed
-organize laundry
-throw away trash

 These are the basics. The bare minimum I can do.  Why is it so overwhelming to me?